The Rev. Hajime Issan Koyama, a Buddhist chaplain based at the Zicklin Residence of the Metropolitan Jewish Hospice, in Riverdale, [NY] works with people at the end of their lives—many of whom are isolated and have been abandoned by friends and family.
The four stages of interaction for the caregiver at the end of life are said to be: to show up; listen; care for the other; and watch—not unlike the process of Zen meditation. Issan’s job is to listen to his patients and walk with them as they are dying, to the place where they will be going. …to help ease his patients’ fear of their final passage.
Armed with the understanding that comes from years of study of Zen meditation and psychological methods, Issan says he is a “doula”—midwife. He can go everywhere his patients need him to go—to the point of death. At that point of death there is a door. He and the patient pass to the door hand in hand. The patient goes through. But Issan does not. He stays on the other side.
Issan says that on occasion he has found this process to be very frightening. He decided that he needed to create a better relationship with his fears. Further, he wanted to learn why he felt this powerful urge to compassion, to work with those at the end of life. He sought the aid of a psychologist skilled in dream analysis.
After analysis, Issan found that this urge to compassion stemmed from his understanding of his own childhood isolation and abandonment. An orphan, he was born into a wealthy family but cared for by a paid caretaker. As a child he lived in an ivory tower; there was an abundance of wealth but a total lack of love. Issan now uses this hard-won compassion, to help others who are dying in isolation and abandonment. Issan, like many in this business, is what Jung called a “wounded healer.”
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